WELCOME NEWBIES!!!

Some of you will be getting this E-BLAST for the very first time ("how could that be???" you may well ask) as I finally got around to updating my email list so, if you've never been exposed before, hope you enjoy it and, if not, please quietly opt out rather than sending me a nasty or outraged email, OK?

As you may have noticed, time keeps passing--as is its wont--and we're all getting older (I have a birthday coming up and it's one of those biggies that ends in a zero!). And, as my jowls descend, my hairline (what's left of it, anyway) recedes, my belt loops inch ever higher and the number of age rings lining the inside of my trunk increase in number and also stiffen up a bit around the lower back area when I bend over to pull my slippers on in the morning, I'm also noticing it takes me longer and longer to accomplish less and less. It's not like I'm not TRYING, mind you (perish the thought) but that the old machine is just not as quick, spry, agile or enduring as it was back when I was more full of promise than knee pain.

But who likes to listen to old folks complain? (WAIT!!! I know the answer to that one..."NOBODY!")

Bottom line is that Carol and I are doing quite well, keeping fit as best we can (the entirely legit Cat Eye odometer on my bike may actually make it to 10,000 miles before cold and snow make further mileage a task for young folks in Spandex and GoreTex who don't understand the entire concept and comfort of a crackling-fire hearthside and central heating.

But the debut of the real, coffee-table edition of my Lotus Love Affair book has been pushed back a bit thanks to a variety of delays. One of which is that the size, content and scope of the project has grown like The Blob in the movie of the same name, plus one of my graphics collaborators sadly passed away, and we've also been preoccupied and distracted by a wee medical issue and subsequent procedure that Carol had to go through. She is fine, thank goodness (!!!), but, thanks to family history as much as anything else, it was recommended and subsequently decided that she should have one side of her thyroid removed. Now there have been times, in our 51 years together, that each of us has thought or daydreamed about slitting the other's throat. Or bludgeoning them with a heavy object. Or...but you get the idea. The thing is, when something like that actually happens, it makes you all the more humbled and indebted to the fates and good fortune that brought you together in the first place.

The operation went well and her prognosis is excellent, but it slowed her up a bit & she currently sounds a lot like Lamont Cranston (look it up if you're too young to know) and it also kind of diverted our attention from other things. As you can well imagine and understand.

For those impatient types who may have one of the new Lotus "coffee-table" editions on order, we will gladly and cheerfully (that's actually a lie...it's more like "grumbling & grudgingly") refund your money and even apologize.

For the rest of you (the "Good Folks"), we're looking at a Spring debut (April Fools' Day might be appropriate?) but I'll know more as we get closer to the final wrap. We are also still looking for additional sponsors and advertisers, as this has turned into one Tyrannosaurus Rex of a project what with words (LOTS of words), historical accuracy to consider, LOTS great graphics and the proper credit and arrangements for use of same. Sure was easier just slinging & spewing my usual bullshit in the novels...

Speaking of book projects, the short-story collection that the new Lotus book was supposed to be a single chapter of (no, really!) is sitting in the On Deck circle, damn near finished, and will definitely debut (no, I MEAN it this time!) during the summer months, while the eighth and final "The Last Open Road/200mph Steamroller" novel will be sometime in 2027 if I'm not drooling on my shoes in an Old Peoples' Home by then...not planning on it!

BONUS: HOLIDAY RECIPES PART ONE:

Burt’s Bodacious Brown Paper B
ag Chicken

Here’s what you will need:

One whole chicken (we’ve been brainwashed into thinking we prefer organic)
One brown paper bag (big enough to hold chicken and then some…the Whole Foods ones one size down from the big ones with the strap handles work fine) & string, old shoelace or twist-tie (wire and paper, not plastic) for closure.
One onion (yellow, sweet, red…you decide)
Couple sprigs of fresh Rosemary
Couple sliced up cloves of garlic*
Couple small, thin wedges of lemon with rind*
Smoked (or Hungarian Hot, you pick) Paprika
Ground ginger*
Salt and Pepper
One oven pan big enough to hold the chicken in the bag. Maybe line with foil if you hate cleaning pans.
*optional adds…not in the original recipe

Here’s what you need to do:

1)   Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees. Make sure there is plenty of room above the rack.
2)   Wash chicken inside & out & pat dry.
3)   Rub chicken inside and out with some salt and pepper (not too much)
4)   Cut onion into halves or quarters so it will fit inside chicken & put inside chicken cavity along with several sprigs of fresh rosemary, plus the optional sliced garlic cloves and lemon wedges if you like
5)   Rub outside of chicken with the Paprika. This will make your hands a lovely orange-red. You can mix in some ground ginger powder into the paprika if you like.
6)   Open the paper bag, lay it flat in pan, slide chicken inside, gather up the open end and make a closure with string or twist-tie.
7)   Stick pan, bag and chicken in the pre-heated oven for 80-90 minutes
8)   Remove from oven and let stand for 5-10 minutes, then cut open, behold the gorgeous, moist and tasty chicken with the delicious, bacon-y skin, platter up & dig in.

NOTIFICATION: PRICE INCREASE COMING!!!

OK, so I don't have to tell YOU that prices are going up. You see it every time you go to the frickin' market. So here's the GOOD news: We've had to order up another printing of THE LAST OPEN ROAD! That will be the book's 12th (!!!) hardcover printing (figure roughly 50,000 copies in print, which is pretty damn good for a self-published historical sports car novel about a fringe activity that most folks could care less about). But costs have escalated and so a brand-fresh copy of THE LAST OPEN ROAD will now set you back 35 bucks instead of 30. Change will be coming up on the website on Monday, so if you want to get in on the OLD PRICE, place that order N-O-W! And then email me if you want it signed or personalized any special way (great for Holiday Gifts!). Glad to do it if you do, not in the least offended if you don't.

CONFUSING LAST TRIVIA ANSWERS &

NEW, MORE UNDERSTANDABLE TRIVIA

COMING THIS WEEKEND!

CLICK HERE TO ORDER STUFF

OR TO BECOME A MUCH-APPRECIATED SPONSOR
OR ADVERTISER IN THE NEW BOOK!